What really matters.

Relationships are hard. And that's an understatement.

It's hard to find people we click with, people we trust, people we understand, people we share similar values and vision with, people we agree with, people we find attractive, people we can relate to, people we like. You can search this whole world, if you had the time and money that is, and I bet that you wouldn't find many.

No wonder people try to search for friends by any means, like on TV like Paris Hilton or Brody Jenner. j/k. Well that's what they say. Who knows. (I am a victim of Bromance. There. I said it. I have many guilty mtv pleasures).

Why do you think that is? Why do you think God made us all so different and so unique? To challenge us perhaps? It only makes sense that it's because He wants us to learn so many things, shape us to be round dynamic characters, sharpen us to be wise, experienced, and to prepare us to be mature enough to meet with Him one day. To ultimately have a close relationship with Him?

We're so distant from Him. So far. So sinful. Sometimes I feel like I'll never get there. Never be able to touch His hands and see Him. And it's scary. But I find myself persevering, pressing on, hoping to one day, just one day meet this friend, this best friend, this father, this teacher, this lover that my soul has longed for ever since I was born.

So where am I going with all this about friendship and relationship? I think I'm learning that I need to do something that's two-fold. One, I need to be ready to open up to those I least expect to be my friends, those I don't click with, those I can't relate with, those I don't like even and invite them into my life. You know that verse in the bible, when they say even pagans are good to those they like?

"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:46-48)

We ALL have something to offer, something to teach one another through our unique life experiences, no matter how old, what religion, what background. It's our responsibility to discern what that is, and to reveal this and teach this to one another. To better our characters. To grow.

SO PLEASE, spread your wisdom y'all, share your experiences, how you grew from trials. I believe we're not suppose to all go through the same things, if we have one another to learn from. We can learn from others' mistakes. And blessed are those who do. I know I wasn't one. I was one of those, I have to go through it myself type of person. Sigh.

And the second part I am learning is to not expect people to be a certain way, either like you, or like your friends, or whoever you like and respect. Because everyone's different right? Different for a divine reason.

You can wait all day, all your lifetime even, for that person who you envision to be "the one," but I think you'll be waiting a long time, if not forever. I don't think it happens, quite rare if it actually does, I don't know, if we end up with someone who we envisioned or expected. How great would that be? haha

Funny thing is that's what I've been doing. Still doing. Expecting this perfect guy. Perfect looks, perfect personality, perfect humor, perfect job, perfect family, perfect love for me, perfect faith. Perfect in my own standards that is, so it's certain things I'm looking for. To make it worse, those certain standards are relative to someone I once knew and loved. But there was only one of him. And that was that. I took what I could from it, so did he. We learned what we could through each other, and now it's time to let go and move on.

My friend sent me this clip on youtube (Tyler Perry's Madea) to cheer me up and it's funny but a lot of I find to be true. If you want to watch it, go check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF_10F7eYRE

In it it says that some people come for a lifetime, and some for a season. And you have to know which is which. And you'll always mess up if you mix seasonal people up with lifetime expectations. They're suppose to teach you one thing and leave. People don't know this and fall in love and then wonder why they have no peace.

I like this part, I'll try to quote it for those who won't watch it:

"I put everyone who comes into my life into a category of a tree.
Some people are like leaves on a tree. The wind blows, they fly over there. They're unstable. The season changes, they weather and die. And that's ok. Most people are like this. They're just there to take from the tree, to take and give shade every now and then. It's all they can do.

Some people are like a branch on a tree. You have to be careful with a branch, because they'll fool you. They'll make you think they're a good friend and really strong, but the minute you step out there on them, they'll break and leave you high and dry.

But if you find two or three people in your life that's like the roots at the bottom of the tree, you are blessed because those are the type of people who are going nowhere. A tree can have a hundred million branches but only a few roots down at the bottom is what you need to make sure it gets what it needs. When you get your roots, hold onto them, but the rest of them, let it go. LET THEM GO."

Oh gosh. Letting go. That's a topic in and of itself for another blog that I won't get into it now. But going back to expecting things from people who are already in your life or who will come into your life is just nonsense I am beginning to learn. And going back to what I look for in guys. Nonsense again. I think slowly God is showing me what really matters. In all areas of my life. When we start to focus on all the itty bitty things, we miss the big picture. And I think He's trying to tell me that what I think I want, is not what I need. But what I need and what matters is someone who will love me more than anyone else can on this earth. That's what matters most. Someone who can love me the right way, the way I need and deserve to be loved.

And going along the same lines of what I wrote yesterday, don't assume that you know yourself 100%. There are so many things you have yet to learn about who you are and what matters to you. Like my friend put it, don't box yourself. And in that way, I don't want to box myself in thinking I am only compatible with certain types of people--friends or more. That I will only be happy with this certain career or this certain guy. What do I know really? Everyday is a learning experience of who I am. And I can only pray that God will graciously reveal it to me because I know He knows who I am, what I need, and what brings me joy.

And so I end with a song. See a pattern? ;)
Till the day I see you, I want to grow to prepare for this union.
For the relationship that matters most.

I Can Only Imagine
MercyMe
http://www.ilike.com/artist/MercyMe/track/I+Can+Only+Imagine

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You

I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you
I can only imagine

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21